Entelechy (n.); the realization of potential

A few days ago, I cut my hair. Not a trim or just a change in my layers... I cut nine (9) inches off. NINE! My hair went from being halfway down my back to above my shoulders. As the gal cut,I could feel the weight of my hair being reduced. She sectioned it off with 3 rubber bands to begin and cut just above each band starting with the middle section. As soon as it came off, I saw my hair in the middle and smiled; no going back now. And it felt great. As I stare in the mirror and comb my fingers through my shortened hair, I felt different... And I loved it.

Now detailing my haircut to you all probably seems fairly unusual. Here's the point- My life over the last year has been full of change. I got married almost a year ago, started my journey toward being a high school English teacher, got a promotion at work, and moved not once, but twice. Within the last couple of months, I have developed new relationships, rekindled old ones, and changed some completely. I have been down. I have been viewing these changes as negative. As inequitable, and contrary to what I wanted in my life. I spent a lot of time feeling sorry for myself. Why? Because I. Hate. Change. I believed that change was unnatural and too much change was unstable.

Then I cut my hair.

Cutting my hair short was something I had been wanting to do for the last year. All year I have searched Pinterest for "short hairstyles for women", "long bob haircut", "popular short hairstyles", and the like. I have saved photos to my phone and referred back to them just about every time I styled my hair. But I was scared. I know that sounds foolish, but I was. What if people didn't like it? What if it made my face look fat? What if I look too much like my mom? I have had six haircuts in the last year and each time I chickened out. Finally I sent my hairdresser the photo and I told her not to ask me if I was sure. Just to cut.

Here's what happened... the frayed ends of my hair were cut off. The color of my hair changed. My hair looked sleek and healthy rather than dry and faded. It felt fresh. It was lighter. The weight was lifted off of my shoulders, literally!

For the rest of the day, I reflected on my hair. I asked myself why it took me so long to muster up the courage to chop my hair off. Hair grows. It wasn't like getting a tattoo... If I hated it, it would change in a month. Answer? I. Hate. Change.

But why? Change is a precursor of things to come. I concluded that my future had potential. That God was changing things in my life with a purpose. There was a purpose for moving twice in one year- I had never lived on my own before. I had to learn how to be a wife- how to clean multiple rooms, organize various artifacts among the room, learn how to be a good hostess, etc. If we had moved straight to the house we are in now, I would have been completely overwhelmed. Beginning in a two bedroom apartment was the perfect introduction to “the wife life”.

My new position at work combined with my increasing experience as a future high school teacher have taught me patience and time management during a period where I felt like I was drowning. I have been given a passion that I hadn’t felt before to connect with people.

I was pointed in the direction of relationships that needed my attention and was given the opportunity to schedule time with people whom I needed to encourage me. My life is changing. That’s not bad. There’s potential here. I just have to choose to see it. Life change is not always as obvious as cutting nine inches off of my hair or even as healthy all the time. Life change equals potential. It is up to me to decide what to do with said potential.

You do not realize now what I am doing, but someday you will understand. John 13:7 NIV

#change #potential