Wabbit (adj.); exhausted or slightly unwell

Recently I have discovered that I have spread myself too thin. I think it runs in my family because my mom does this all the time. We are "yes" people. When someone asks us to do something for them, we don't hesitate.

I just finished my last final for my Spring quarter today and though I am happy to be finished with this quarter, I feel exhausted and unwell. I was running on adrenaline for the last ten weeks and not taking care of myself. I cannot count the number of times I committed to something when I should have been writing a paper, was up against a deadline, cut it way too close, or procrastinated myself into a panic. I have overslept, completed presentations in class five minutes before I was to present, and just about everything else you could think of.

While everything I have just said likely sounds like the average life of a college student, I'm realizing that it's time to change something. Why do college students have to adhere to the above stereotypes. I'm reminded of a drawing I saw where on each of the respective three points on a triangle were the labels, "Social Life", "Good Grades", "Enough Sleep" and the caption read, "pick one". I'm not going to pretend that balancing school, a social life, and work is easy... IT'S NOT! I am just saying that I realized I need to make some adult decisions so I can keep my sanity.

I am terrible at managing my time. I also don't like not completing something to the best of my ability. This is a rotten combination which honestly leads to some feelings of inferiority. In theory, this would be an easy fix... Just start managing my time better, right? Not so much.

I don't like disappointing people, and I like helping people. So the word "no" isn't in my vocabulary. I'm realizing it needs to be, though. Not just the word "no", but to say "no" with a smile or a general well feeling. To say "no" and walk away from the conversation without replaying it in my mind or evaluating all the reasons I could have or should have said "yes". That's not selfish, that's reality. If I don't take care of myself and manage my time, I won't have the energy to invest in the things that are most important.

I have to think about the things that fill my tank- the activities that recharge my batteries and energize me. Date nights, double date nights, home improvement, one-on-one coffee talks with best friends, or small group get-togethers with those who encourage me, not tear me down.

This means that I have to let it go when I feel like I just don't have the time instead of moving my schedule around to incorporate everything. Because I can't incorporate everything. There's not enough time in the day. I have been overwhelmed lately and know that I have to begin to decide what is worth my time. Prioritizing is key. Making sure that I have the time to complete tasks fully and to the best of my ability. I am tired of letting my emotions get the best of me because I am tired. That doesn't mean that I will get a full eight hours of sleep every night, but I can at least go to sleep with lower levels of anxiety and hopefully begin to repair some of the slight un-wellness that has become so normal for me to repair.

I was reminded this week that I live for an audience of one. My 100% has to focus on God and what He would have me invest in. If I am trying to serve everyone else by saying "yes", when will I find the time or the quiet time to hear what the Lord has to say? Breath, and take it one day at a time.

You are worried and upset about many things, but few things are needed—or indeed only one. Luke 10:41